


a sonnet for the age old dilemma

by shafusu



Series: Wings [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, Other, Vague Mentions of Sexual Abuse, Wings!AU, depictions of violence, mentions of abuse, potential relationships depending on relevance to the plot, some vague nightmare sequences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-18 21:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4721276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shafusu/pseuds/shafusu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Humans are always frightened of the things much more powerful and deadly than they are aren't they? That's why they try to subdue them, destroy them, turn them into something manageable. After all, there's nothing more terrifying than something with power obtaining knowledge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. breaking free, oh we're breaking free

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU fanfic based on Jean's Wings!AU, a series of headcanons and works they posted on Tumblr. There is another fic based on it, if you see it you should give it a read. I hope they realize how lucky I feel that they gave me the go ahead to write this.
> 
> Edit:
> 
> Wings!AU was created by jean-bo-peep on tumblr.
> 
> A Sonnet for the Age Old Dilemma's Sister fic is named "Fly" and it was written by CeilingFan5 in collaboration with jean-bo-peep, give it a read.

_Shouyou only vaguely remembered that place, the cold steel that slipped up his back as he was pinned down to an operating table. The smell of medicine curling around his nose and the cold sting as fresh wounds touched sanitized metal. The amount of pain was always rather excruciating, the ploy being that this would make everything easier on him. He wasn’t a moron, however, he knew this was nothing more than yet another one of the experiments. Something to make him a better crow, a better…slave? Was that the word for it? He wasn’t entirely sure, but it wasn’t like he liked the sound of anything that had to do with servitude._

_He fought tooth and nail while in that place, doing all he could to get thrown out. Many of the other–“splices”–as they were known, had spread word that if they didn’t die here, and were rendered salvageable, they’d be sold to the lowest of the low. Usually these were meager folk, trying to get the most affording housekeeper. Many splices, once they saw their chance, they took it. So many would have rather died than be used for the betterment of humans, such a vile race they were. Shouyou had seen the results first hand. The scars he and his fellow brothers and sisters owned were not for nothing._

_Shouyou could still feel the slashing whips, the fights they had instigated. To pit two against one another, and whomever came out victor would get another chance at taking one more breath–the other would be less fortunate. He didn’t want to come to face this as a never ending reality. He wanted to break free, he belonged outside. Every day as he managed to catch a glimpse of the morning sun outside the barred windows of his cell, he could almost feel the air, his wings slowly unfurling even in the cramp space. He sought it out so much…_

“Stupid! Wake up! You gotta show to do if you want to even smell your dinner!” The loud shouting pulled Shouyou out of his memories, eyes slowly opening to see the snarl of his current owner’s face. A very well put together man on the outside, clean, good condition, but of course–Shouyou had learned the hard way that wolves in sheeps’ clothing occurred far more frequently than believed.

He slowly raised himself, minding the chains that bound him to the cage, wings stretching as much as they could from the inside, “We’ve drawn quite the crowd here in Japan, stupid little countryside towns–they always give up more than big cities,” Commented Milliano, almost expecting Shouyou to answer what he could not.

He understood perfectly well, but he couldn’t speak, not that he would speak with a disgusting human such as this one.

“You’re our big performance, stupid bird, you got that~? If it goes awry like last time, me breaking one of your arms is going to be the least of your worries,” Milliano snarled viciously, heading off to look at the other poor beasts that were trapped just like Shouyou was. However, some of them lacked the sentience he held. It made the entire ordeal worse than it had to be.

His ears twitched slightly as he heard the shuffling of feet, a group of people chattering among themselves as they entered the tent. The familiar sounds of children, smells of popcorn and all sorts of fattening delicacies filled the air. Even though he was in the cages, stuffed away into one of the cars in the back, he could smell all of it. A pang of hunger ran through his body, causing Shouyou to solemnly smooth claws over his belly. If he got through this, he would get fed, he would get his meal, live the rest of his time here in quiet peaceful tranquility–as long as he ignored the fact it was literal hell–and finally rest and die.

Shouyou watched as other animals began being wheeled or lead away, he was always the last to be dragged out. No one wanted to chance him being left alone with a few people for longer than need. He apparently had cost them a “pretty penny”, whatever that meant. Sure, he raked in enough money for that to not be a problem, but the reality became that no other human saw this as a problem. Shouyou couldn’t find himself willing to understand, how could they think this was a show? A freak show, a game, someone not being worth what they are truly worth all because they were seen as otherworldly. They worshiped angels or beings with wings.

And yet they treated him like a toy.

It didn’t take more than an hour before a group of men came back for him. He heard them unlock the car, open the door and walk up to the cage very swiftly. Standard routine, play it off as easily as they could without getting caught. They make the entire ordeal quick this time, covering the lingering scars with some type of liquid, making sure he looked happy–by threatening him with no dinner like usual. Shouyou wished he had been a plant at that point, at least those understood and knew how to generate food themselves.

Slowly, black and orange ribbons were tied to his hands and feet, smaller ones attached to the tips of his wings. Shouyou knew better than to complain about the inevitable, having resigned himself to being nothing more than a prop. Perhaps it was better than being wherever some of his brethren ended up, to the slaughter or in the hands of the government. He had a circus to be a part of, and although he got mistreated daily, he didn’t have to face absolute horror. He initially believed he had it the worst, but slowly, just like the desires for freedom, those beliefs were stopped into the ground. No delicacy, no formality. Just placed were they belonged, on the floor, with him.

Shouyou was lead toward the circus, shackles attached to his feet while two people held onto the chains to keep him from flying away. The only time they’d be removed was once he was inside the actual tent, and while most would have assumed that he would spring free as soon as he was let go, they were wrong. Shouyou lived in fear, lived shaking to the core on the inside and only wished to live. He wanted to be free, but the fear strangled him mercilessly, like everyone and anything he’d ever come in contact with. He wasn’t a fighter, he was a free roamer, a crow–not a predatory bird, not a bird of paradise, a regular crow.

“And for our grande finale! We have one of the greatest wonders of the world, perhaps a fallen angel himself,” _Oh that was a riot wasn’t it?_ “The ethereal being himself!” Funny, he didn’t feel very ethereal at the moment, “Shouyou Hinata!” And then the screaming crowds, most of which had probably seen footage of him somewhere, who wanted to see if it was true. Did this circus really have a boy that could fly, real wings with real feathers. No one liked to believe it at first, but if there was anything Shouyou had learned about humanity was that–while they were easily impressed by things that seemed extraordinary, they also sought to crush those things into their control.

He stuck his chin out, raising his head up high as walked out delicately onto the center floor. Shouyou had one say at least, and it was what routine he chose to perform. Did he want to use something he had already done before, or something he had come up with on the spot? Nothing he did was particularly stupendous, but again–humans were simple minded. As long as it was magnificent, in their control and not of any harm, they could have come here to see him glide and they’d chalk it up to flying.

Clawed toes dug into the dirt, waiting for the music he had been trained to move to started playing. The crowd watched, mystified at the sight of the long black, feathered appendages that graced his back, his large orange eyes, orange hair. The talons he donned on both his hands and feet, everything about him was mythical–broken as well, not that they needed to know.

He twirled slowly, spreading his wings out and dancing rhythmically to the beat. Every movement was fluid, from how he delicately grazed his legs on the floor, to how he moved his wings in time with his arms. Every motion became much more rushed, Shouyou sensing himself coming closer to the center stage stand. The room became live wire, watching him prance about, animal-like at times, and others much more human. Shouyou stretched his arms out, dipping his body slightly before preforming a cart wheel, balancing on the palm of his hand on the second turn. He bent his arm slightly, using the strength he had to propel himself up into the air, do a twirl and land directly on the center platform.

The room clapped for a moment before realizing he wasn’t done. Shouyou balanced on the tips of his toes, bending his knee slightly and jumping into the air. Wings instinctively spread to their massive length, flapping at keeping him in the air. No noise came from the audience, all notably starstruck at the sight of someone who looked so terribly human in flight. He didn’t finish it there, offering a majestic twirl before flying all around the tent. Shouyou briefly made eye contact with some of the audience, a striking flash of yellow catching him momentarily off guard before he sped off. He dipped slightly, performing several rolls, diving down with easy once he got to the top center of the tent. With grace, he tilted backward, performing a few more twirls on his way down before flipping right side up and landing easily on the center platform.

Shouyou bowed, the room erupting into cheers and screams. At least they were happy, he figured, unwilling to stay there longer than he had to. He shifted his gaze, landing on the men off to the side who were more than ready to shackle him up and lead him away again. He didn’t hesitate to bow one more time, waving before jumping off the platform and making his way toward the circus members in waiting.

They moved swiftly, removing the ribbons that decorated his wrists and ankles. Shackles replaced the decorations on his ankles, closing his eyes as he was lead away from the tent. The afternoon had gone by quickly, only leaving the slowly setting sun to coat the darkening sky in a sheet of orange. It was these moments that Shouyou lived for. He could feel the fresh air brush tenderly against the rough patches on his face, coiling around his wings, causing them to stir and twitch excitedly. It held him close, allowing him to drink in all that potential freedom, the air, the smell of the trees that tickled his nose. It was enough to satisfy him, to keep him alive and wishing for the day where he’d finally be set free.

After being locked up and placed inside the dusty, smelly, car again, he was given a plate filled with his favorite fruits and small lizards. The plate was relatively small, the usual portion to keep him in check, but Shouyou couldn’t bring himself to care much for the amount. He happily began munching on the fruits he had been given, wanting to savor them before moving onto the lizards. His stomach and body sang

merrily upon being fed, his mouth practically salivating buckets even as he ate. Whether or not it was worth all the tears was debatable.

He was about to move onto the last lizard on the plate when his ears twitched, hearing a vague rustling noise coming from outside the cart. Shouyou decided to push the lizard off to the side for a moment, hands wrapping around the bars on his cage as he tried sticking his head through the bars. His hearing was strained, trying to listen in to what sounded like soft voices he didn’t recognize. He almost wondered if he was imagining things, there was no one here he didn’t recognize. Perhaps they had gotten newcomers, but it being as late as it was made him doubt that they were. On top of that, very few people were allowed near Shouyou.

He flinched notably when he heard a loud snap and the falling of a heavy metal lock, fingers slipping through one of the doors and pulling it open.

Shouyou’s eyes shot open, recognizing those golden eyes. Strange hairstyle, even stranger clothing options–the most plain thing he’d ever seen. A white shirt, black pants and a sweater wrapped around his waist. His companion was an angry looking man, strange haircut, clothing as simple as his friend. He was so awestruck he jolted when they began speaking.

“Noya, I don’t wanna tell you how to live your life,” Began the taller man, appearing to have a look of concern on his face, “ But I’m pretty sure this is kidnappin’.”

A snort came from the one named “Noya”, the clearly energetic boy coming up to the front of Shouyou’s cage. He could almost feel how genuine and honest the other boy was, the warmth radiating pulling him closer to the edges of the cage. Shouyou watched carefully as the boy reached an arm up, small hand extending out to offer itself to Shouyou. He beamed, making soft pigeon noises before nuzzling into that hand.

“Ryuu, you see this? I told you!” Exclaimed Noya cheerily, brushing his calloused fingers against the rough, dry patches of skin that decorated Shouyou’s face, “I think I’m pretty smart when it comes to telling how animals feel, remember that rabbit you had? If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have known it wasn’t happy with diet you were feeding it.”

Shouyou watched as the other boy rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, “If you keep yelling, they’re gonna come runnin’ and besides, I didn’t need ya’ to tell me what Fluffles was feeling,” Ryuu spat, looking a bit anxious, “Yo, Noya. I know you said that we gotta get this poor guy out of here, but if we’re gonna do it we gotta hurry. We ain’t got much time.”

Shouyou felt himself still, his heart beat slowing down tremendously. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. They wanted to get him out, they wanted to set him free. He never thought that humans were capable of understanding, of seeing through the facades he had grown to place over the agony in his heart. The pain that he lived every day, the scars that coated his arms and body, the clearly different conditions he was held in as opposed to anyone else. He was looked more human than crow, and yet he was treated even less than a crow.

Then his saviors, a boy with a strange hair cut and a boy with an even stranger one. The shortest one seemed determined to break him free, a feeling he could almost feel translated from that tiny body into his own relatively small one. If Shouyou could cry, he would have. He would have broken, allowed the waterfall of anguish and glee overcome his calm demeanor.

All he could do was smile.

“We’re getting you out, okay?” Noya repeated, voice reassuring, stretching a hand out in Ryuu’s direction.

Ryuu, without missing a beat, handed over a pair of bolt cutters. Shouyou’s eyes widened at that, making a sound in response, chirping out of curiosity. He leaned forward, watching intently as Noya brandished the tool, a grin meeting his curious eyes.

“I had to run all the way back for these things, but it was totally worth it,” He admitted, a proud smile coming over Ryuu’s face.

Noya decided not to waste any more time, slipping the ends of the tool over the lock and snapping it easily. He handed the item back to Ryuu, who took it the way one would brandish a weapon. He moved back toward the door to the cart, playing the role of look out while Noya removed the lock. The door parted open and Shouyou almost threw himself at the slightly shorter man. He could hear the soft laugh that rumbled through Noya’s body, the embrace returned fully.

“I’m gonna protect you,” Noya said as he pulled away, keeping hands on Shouyou’s shoulders.

“Fuckin’ animal whisperer,” Ryuu commented, stifling a laugh as he stuck his head out again, “We should get out of here, though. They got security makin’ rounds and I ain’t too keen on getting caught.”

Noya turned back to look at Shouyou, “Just follow us, okay? It’s gonna be cramp for a little bit but I don’t want to leave you here.”

Shouyou nodded quietly, flapping his wings slightly before being led out by the two boys.

Humans were peculiar creatures weren’t they, was the only thing on Shouyou’s mind. He didn’t even consider himself human, he considered himself more animal. The reason being that humans were callous, destructive creatures that had graced this Earth only to decimate and destroy. They rarely cherished the land they were offered, and complained when they didn’t receive more. He had been all over the world, and never was he regarded this way, he had never felt closer to a human than he did now.

He kept his eye on them carefully, following them out of the small park the circus had planted itself in, keeping in the darkness of the trees. Shouyou figured he could have flown now, flown away, they wouldn’t chase him. Not them, not these boys–but there was something wrong with the notion, something that felt far too off. How could he leave the first individuals to regard him with so much kindness that they were jeopardizing themselves to save him.

Every moment Noya would look back to him, making sure he was still there, those light touches that Ryuu placed on Noya’s shoulder to make sure they knew where they were going. Then he’d turn around and do the same with him, not communicating much but speaking all the more. The expressions these two boys had spoke more volumes than anything he had ever heard. They drowned out the faces that terrorized him in his dreams.

The freedom he yearned was right with them, beyond the doors that they opened and far beyond the lands he had come from. The mother he never knew, the family he didn’t remember, and the cold steel that gave birth to him.

Shouyou pressed himself against a nearby wall, eyes shifting from one area to another. On one side, he had Ryuu, who was being every vigilant. Those large, almost horrifying eyes were squinting, trying to listen in for sounds he couldn’t even hear. Every flicker of lights from cars passing by was registered by his eyes widening suspiciously as he pressed his back against the cold brick. Despite the obviously wary look displayed on his features, Shouyou noted that he wasn’t trembling. Every movement was calculated and every inch of his body refined to a point, it was as though he had undergone training of some kind. Shouyou himself couldn’t say he had that type of discipline, he only knew how to fly and fight. How to gouge out someone’s eyes because it was always a matter of life and death, whether or not he really wanted to feel the sensation of squishy tendons against his hardened skin. It was a memory best left forgotten, along with all those whose lives were stopped in the middle of their prime because their prime just wasn’t good enough against another’s.

He readjusted his attention, turning around to look at Noya, who was inching closer to the end of the alleyway. He looked like a bird himself almost, delicate and serene. Noya stuck his head out, a smile lighting up even the darkest parts of the alleyway as he turned back to make a gesture with his hand, a signal that the area was clear. Shouyou didn’t wait, pressing his wings together as he stalked along the ground. A slight shuffling the only thing capable of registering that he was there, that and the tapping of footsteps right behind him.

“We’re almost there, sorry if we’re being extra careful Shouyou, don’t worry, we’ll get there,” Noya whispered, offering a gentle smile before turning back and walking down one of the darker sections of the sidewalk.

“Stay behind us,” Ryuu ordered, walking after Noya and leaving room to their side.

It took Shouyou a moment, but he came to understand exactly what they wanted him to do. The crow turned the corner quickly, placing himself in the crack on the boy’s right side. They were going to hide him, under the cover of darkness using themselves. Shouyou made the space darker by blanketing himself with his wings, almost blending into the pitch black background while Noya and Ryuu walked calmly. They even attempted to hold a random conversation, to seem inconspicuous.

“So, what do you think Kageyama will say, eh?” Ryuu asked, and although his shoulders were slumped and he was walking casually, Shouyou could practically feel the all seeing atmosphere that enveloped the taller boy.

“Nothin’–probably yell, the usual, like when I brought that raccoon,” Noya replied, wagging a finger at Ryuu, making Shouyou want to stifle a laugh.

“He almost kicked you out for that, think he wouldn’t this time?”

“I kept it in my room anyway, it wasn’t that hard–and I doubt he will,” Noya added solemnly, turning to look directly at Shouyou. Shouyou himself couldn’t believe the amount of concern in those eyes, how easily he could read Noya–they really were someone that placed their emotions out for everyone to see. The type of person Shouyou was. It made him feel warm.

“I wouldn’t let him.”

“You’re not the one paying rent.”

“I don’t care, he can give Shouyou my room, he’s not kicking Shouyou out,” The response was adamant, earning another prideful glance, a little bit of something else lying under that. Ryuu was also like Noya, easily readable.

Shouyou kept his eyes open, watching as they walked a few more blocks, made a turn and then walked into an apartment complex. He knew better than to raise his head out of curiosity, staying quiet and keeping down until they made it into an elevator. Shouyou didn’t necessarily like tiny spaces, his wings folding in around him around him when they got in.

Noya noticed his discomfort, and came over to gentle ruffle up his hair, trying his hand at chirping for Shouyou’s amusement.

A smile lit up his face, Shouyou chirping back at him properly, awfully proud for someone who couldn’t speak another language that wasn’t bird. That didn’t seem to phase Noya though, who merely laughed and continued trying until the elevator made it to the seventh floor.

Ryuu was quick to check the time on his phone, muttering a obscenity of some kind that Shouyou couldn’t exactly hear.

“He’ll be here in a few minutes,” Was all Ryuu said, shoving his phone back in his pocket in favor of a set of keys.

Noya only grunted, offering Shouyou his hand, “Don’t you worry about anything. Alright? We got this,” He assured, eyes lighting up with fire. It startled Shouyou a bit, how powerful someone could appear when they didn’t have the physical ability to crush.

Shouyou truly admired Noya more than he thought.

Tentatively, he took the hand offered to him, making sure to carefully curl his fingers. The hand that touched him was warmer than his own, softer even. These hands belonged to a species that long mistreated his own, and yet here he was, having his thoughts corrected slowly, one by one. Shouyou wasn’t all too surprised by the development, he knew himself all too well, he was impressionable.

And he loathed fighting.

Ryuu unlocked the door, ushering in both Noya and Shouyou before staying in place for a few moments. He looked around, making sure no one was looking at them or for them. He only came in once he felt the coast was clear and they were able to relax.

Shouyou stood there, looking at his hands and feet. Orange eyes were completely taken aback once the danger was over, his brain rushing to process everything. There was carpet under his feet, enough of it that he could feel well enough under his toes. He could spread his wings out slightly, the dark room slowly lighting up when one of the two boys decided to turn on one of the lights and the TV. There was no cold, no steel, no bars. The scents of a home whipped around his sensitive nose, large eyes darting around.

“Shouyou! Don’t worry, sit down wherever or explore,” He heard Noya say, a large toothy grin gracing his face, “Are you hungry or something? I can make you something before I sit down.”

Ryuu piped before he was even done saying anything, “Don’t let him, he can’t make food.”

Noya shot him a glare, making mock gestures of the way Ryuu talked before turning back to look at Shouyou, “I was thinking a sandwich or something, actually.”

Looks betrayed Shouyou, he wanted to say no, he had just eaten something that…most humans wouldn’t really find appetizing but the sound of more food only made his stomach growl again. He could only simmer down instead, appearing wounded when Noya laughed at him. He knew he had no reason, but it was troublesome wasn’t it?

“Don’t worry about it, didn’t I tell you?” Noya repeated, tugging Shouyou along tenderly, “There isn’t anything wrong with being hungry.”

Ryuu busied himself with trying to come up with an excuse while Noya and Shouyou went off into the kitchen, sandwich pulled out of the fridge. It was simple enough, Shouyou becoming distracted by it and the random assortment of food that seemed to clog up of the fridge.

Noya handed it to him after unwrapping it, “Think of this as the first present of many, okay?” He said, patting Shouyou atop the head before leading him out.

They stopped at the doorway, Shouyou feeling his body run cold upon hearing the doorknob wiggle a bit. Keys scraping and a few choice words that weren’t meant for the ears of children, Noya and Ryuu seemed more scared than he did.

Ryuu quickly bolted toward where Shouyou stood, effectively sandwiching the crow between both of their bodies. Shouyou didn’t mind for now, the sinking feeling of being squished the last of his worries as the door opened and a very angry individual stepped in.

“The store was closed,” They began, eyes focused on locking the door, letting out a bitter sight of contempt, “I don’t even know why you need hydrogen peroxide at this hour–..”

Whatever else the other man was going to say was lost when he turned around completely, eyes widening extraordinarily wide. Both Noya and Ryu pursed their lips together, Shouyou gripping so tightly onto the food he was offered that he might have ripped it to shreds had Noya not spoken up.

“We can explain, Kageyama.”

“What is this bullshit?” He asked, eyes flaring up so quickly that Shouyou flinched, “Maybe you could /ask/ next time, dumbass, before you bring random people into my home?”

Noya bit the inside of his cheek, stepping away and pulling at one of Shouyou’s wings, earning an even more exasperated expression from Kageyama. One of absolute disbelief, it almost looked like he was about to blow a few right then and there.

“Ryuu and I went to go see this show today, and they had this kid. I don’t know about you, but I had a bad feelin’–like he wasn’t all that happy.”

Ryuu crossed his arms, eyes narrowing toward Kageyama, “I told him not to get too involved with this type of shit again, you know how it is. But he was so sure that the poor guy was being mistreated–said it had something to do with the way his eyes looked.”

Right, Shouyou had briefly made eye contact with a pair of golden eyes, the best mistake he’d ever made.

“Dumbass, might as well become an animal,” Kageyama muttered, rubbing his face slowly before letting out a groan.

“I’ll be real, Noya was right on the money with this one. We found him all caged up, these weird marks on him, nothing we saw during the show. Noya had me go get the bolt clippers and meet with him again while he took the time to fuckin’ memorize where the guards were,” Ryuu added with a shake of his head, “I know we ain’t the best roomies, never really tell you much but–honestly I don’t feel good tossing this guy out–.”

“I'd move out before I let you kick him out.”

The flames died out as quickly as they sprang, replaced by a more tired facial expression, “Okay, we’ll just…talk about this tomorrow morning, he can sleep on the couch or something, I don’t have the energy to care right now,” Kageyama finished, treading quietly as he walked into his room.

Noya’s eyes lit up, turning to look at Shouyou, giving him another embrace, “Welcome home.”


	2. can you feel it, rushing through your hair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You really didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And after a long wait, chapter two is finally here and it's not the longest, basically a little bit like filler--a little bit of exposition before we start moving along. Introducing some new characters, and then getting back to the old ones next chapter. This takes place the same night the events in chapter one happen.
> 
> The Wings!AU was created by jean-bo-peep.
> 
> A Sonnet for the Age Old Dilemma has a sister fic named Fly by CeilingFan5, please read it.
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to look, and here's chapter two.

Not everyone was that lucky…

Koushi ran down the street, eyes pried open. His heart was skipping beats, the wind smashing him in the face as he ran. The darkness felt ominous, almost like the lights that flashed angrily right behind him. The only thing on his mind was whether or not they caught a good look at him, he wasn’t the most obvious man, but he never really had a character that blended easily into the crowd. That’s why he had a habit of going out under the cover of the suffocating night, getting himself into a heap of trouble, it was only a matter of time before he ruined his own life, wasn’t it?

He quickly turned into an alley, gritting his teeth as his feet slipped partially, Koushi managed to stop himself by hitting the side of the wall with his back, making sure the small bundle he carried in his arms was safe. Koushi didn’t have time to think though, his eyes refocusing on the police lights that had been chasing him. He cursed himself mentally, taking in a deep breath before running down the small corridor of windows and turning out onto another street. Had this been an important splice, Koushi figured there would be more than a few officers chasing after him. He almost felt fortunate for that, he didn’t tell Daichi that he was going out.

He hardly ever felt that was necessary, especially for his late night escapades.

Koushi felt the small creature claw quietly at his shirt, and his eyes turned downward to give it a look over. He watched as it moved it’s mouth, something unpleasant probably coming from it. Lips pursed as he kept himself light on his feet, ignoring the hair whipping into eyes, pressing the small being closer to him. Koushi repeated what he remembered his mother did, pushing out a “Shush” like sound past his lips, as awkward as it might have sounded.

“I will–keep you–safe,” He mouthed, voice hardly audible from the lack of practice.

Talking was hard for someone who couldn’t hear himself, but Koushi tried anyway. It only mattered that it worked, the tiny bird like entity looking up at him with glowing eyes before snuggling into his chest. A sign of comfort, even in the face of potential capture. That was enough to keep Koushi going, for his legs to become stronger. His strides were practically leaps, his body pushing beyond the limits that he had trained himself to achieve. Koushi jumped onto one of the nearby ledges, landing harshly but he continued running, his muscles singing from the jolts of pain.

Every breath he took was hard, cold, like the sweat running down his forehead as he kept running. His diaphragm wasn’t moving fast enough, his body wasn’t moving fast enough. The extraction point was coming up quickly, and the lights were back on him again. Koushi figured that if he focused too much on them, he’d be unable to run faster, he wouldn’t reach his top speed. So he tightened his old on the frightened hatch-ling, gritting his teeth as he increased speed again.

Daichi had a habit of making fun of Koushi for his lack of athleticism, saying that if he didn’t get any he wouldn’t be able to survive in life. Daichi had been into sports from the moment he was born, Koushi hypothesized, something he would bring up as a jab at his childhood friend. They were polar opposites in so many ways, but he was sure that if Daichi saw him now, he’d see that Koushi may not have run before. He may not have explored his world, he may not have been the most adventurous individual, but that was because he hadn’t found his calling.

As he turned the corner and continued at a breakneck pace, Koushi knew what he had found was a calling that he had been born to answer. These creatures, he saw a lot of himself in them. Quiet, unwilling to do more than they had to to survive. This little child that would have been tortured had he let them keep it, and he himself–he would have been tortured if he continued letting people do it to him. Koushi could not speak normally, he could not hear from the moment he was born and was thought of as different. He wasn’t the strongest, nor the fastest, but he knew what it was like to be put down.

Daichi knew what it was like for him to cope with the events that lead him to run away, and stay with a family that not only treated him as their own, but loved him as their own.

These beautiful creatures, like he, had to be free. Free of the strife that had entrapped them, and he would die for that cause. He would die for the small bundle he held in his arms. He didn’t consider himself a martyr, or anyone of particular importance. He was just a man, a young man who wanted to do something useful with his life, with his unwillingness to give up and fight tooth and nail for what he believed him. Someone so fortunate to have someone like Daichi to support every move he made.

Those were the things that kept him running, that kept him going until his body screamed.

Koushi swerved violently, almost falling into the street before heading down a small cut off passage. The lights were dim, but they were behind him. That was all that mattered to him as he watched a small hole come into his hazy vision. He let a weary smile come over him, closing his eyes before jumping into the air, almost curling himself around the young creature he was carrying in his arms. The air shifted directions as he fell down the small tube, eyes opening in time to watch the hole disappear. Koushi shifted his attention then, bracing his body for the impact he’d have with the ground once he landed.

His feet touched, and then his legs, and then his entire body. He didn’t have the energy to stay bent at the balls of his feet, so he collapsed onto his knees, never letting go of the small form that had trusted him with it’s safety. His body yelled in agony, his chest hurt, and he was drenched in sweat, clothing practically sticking to him from underneath. Despite the pain, however, he was elated. Brown eyes looked down at the small crow, a loving smile coming over his face as it reached out to touch his nose curiously.

Koushi let out an audible laugh, a short one, reminding himself that Daichi told him he needed to express that more–apparently his laughs were something of a mood enhancer.  


A shadow soon draped itself over him, a larger splice looking over him cheerily. Koushi never learned their names, he felt he didn’t need to. Most of them were unable to speak or communicate in anyway, and the sounds they made, although probably understandable–were not something Koushi could hear. They were at a stand still without Daichi, but they didn’t need a translator to help them understand why he was there.

The antelope like creature reached blackened hands out for the bird, who quietly allowed itself to be taken. A nod was offered in Koushi’s direction, a small bow following soon after, which returned wholeheartedly. The little thing was safe now, and that’s all that mattered. He was only seen, not identified, and the little being could not be traced down into the depths of the Earth to a place the surface did not know existed. Not that where he was was the place, no, of course not. This was one of the many passageways, if someone found out about them, digging splices would quickly seal up this portal and open up new ones elsewhere. The ones in the city were merely for people like him that wished to bring splices to safety.

He couldn’t settle down though, despite the good that was able to come from just this one rescue.

Koushi grit his teeth, pressing fists into his thighs. He was only one person, and only one person couldn’t do much of anything in lieu of all the traffickers. He had managed to steal the cargo of many vans, caravans and various other vehicles. He could only ever take one or two, when there were so many. The anguish that filled his lungs, he wanted to scream, scream so loud that he could hear it.

There were so many of them this time, and it hurt him. It hurt him more than the pain he felt during his run. It ached him more than the pounding sensation that left his leg muscles like pudding. This one little bird, a beautiful baby like the ones that humans bore every day. And there were so many, so many crying, screaming, begging to be set free. His heart cried for them, harder than his eyes ever could. More than the tears that dropped over his knuckles, splashing delicately over reddening skin. For Koushi, who didn’t like talking out of fear of being ridiculed, there were some things that just had to be expressed.

“There–so many of them. I couldn’t–get them all,” He said, his throat tingling as he looked up at the saddened expression on the splice that had agreed to come meet him. Who bent at the knees and reached a hard hand out, brushing away the tears that stained his cheeks, “ I’m–only one, so many…oh so many…”

They were words he himself couldn’t hear, but he knew what he was saying. The non-judgmental gaze of the other creature was enough to ease the heaviness in his chest, it feeling partially alleviated when they pressed their nose against his forehead. A moment of acceptance, acknowledgement for all he had done. It still wasn’t enough for Koushi, he still blamed himself for not being super human, but at least he wasn’t blamed for his incompetence.  
“Next time–,” Koushi struggled to say, tongue clicking slightly against the roof of his mouth in an attempt to find the words he wanted, “Next time, more. One more.”

The other being smiled at him as he stood up, nodding toward him in agreement and turning away. They walked down one of the other paths, leaving Koushi by himself. It was fine, all he had to do was go the long way around. There were several passages, the right one to get back home was one of the ones he knew by heart. He didn’t need help no matter how weak his legs were from the strenuous exercise that he had put himself through.

It took roughly around an hour to get back home, the dirty, battered man seeking the comfort of a bed. It was nearing five in the morning, the sun was slowly going to start coming up for its first breath over the horizon soon enough. Daichi was a morning person, he usually was up by around that time–however he had the inkling that Koushi was going about being reckless. Maybe he’d be awake, Koushi internally prayed that he wasn’t.

Trembling fingers opened the door, greeted by a dark room and a sigh of relief blew past his lips. Koushi turned around to close the door quietly, realizing very quickly that he was too wound up to actually be any tired. He spent the day doing not much else, sleeping in had turned into his new trademark, much to Daichi’s disapproval. Not that he’d actually make him stay awake until it was dark, Daichi didn’t have the heart to do it and he knew Koushi wouldn’t listen anyway. It was a sin, but Koushi inwardly considered it a virtue.

Before he could settle down, the kitchen light came on, a large figure appearing in his peripheral, a large grin coming over his features once he saw whom it was.  


**Asahi** , Koushi signed away cheerily, **I’m so glad to see you, aren’t you supposed to be asleep or did you have another nightmare?**

The splice flinched slightly, clumsy replying with shaky fingers, **No, I just…didn’t see you when I woke up and I was wondering if you were okay.**

He was amused by the response, waving off the other’s concern. **There is no need for any of that,** he returned, **I just ran into a little trouble getting back.**

**Oh..but why? You left when Daichi-san..fell asleep..**

Before Koushi could reply, he watched as Asahi became visibly startled, the large hawk splice cowering under a wing while looking at the doorway. Koushi threw his head back, brown eyes locking onto the tired form of his oldest friend, Sawamura Daichi, standing at the entrance to the bedrooms with a quizzical, less than pleased expression on his features. Deep bags had etched into his face, a result of many early morning wake up calls. Koushi found it funny, and it must have showed.

Lazily, Daichi began making gestures at him, sloppy ones that were probably the result of him not being totally awake yet, **Oh, you’re in big trouble now, Suga.**

Asahi quickly moved over toward Koushi, sitting right next to him as if Daichi truly was going to do something horrible. The entire scene was hilarious, and Koushi found it in him to laugh. Not a loud one of course, just the quick motion of his stomach, making his sore body twinge a little bit as it attempted to reciprocate the thoughts that were coursing through his head.

 **I’m not and you know it** , Koushi responded simply, an almost angelic smile coming over his lips before he pat Asahi on the head.

Daichi shook his head disapprovingly, moving over and planting himself on the small couch with both of them.

Koushi closed his tired eyes momentarily, throwing his arms around both of his friends and pulling them into an embrace. Daichi gave Asahi a confused expression, probably the result of some kind of noise Asahi made that Koushi couldn’t hear.

He smiled even brighter.

Asahi squirmed a tad, the larger bird creature attempting to pull away in a bid to get some breathing room for those all too large wings Koushi had grown to admire.

He offered a grin, freeing Daichi from his hold and reaching that hand over, scratching at the soft patch of fuzz that graced Asahi’s chin. The larger man accepted to the touch, even leaning into it slightly as Koushi removed the arm that had wrapped itself around his shoulder.

Koushi quietly noted the slightly scratchy, bumpy details of the other man’s chin, akin to how Daichi’s felt whenever he went too long without shaving or doing any maintenance. The differences lay in the beginnings of baby feathers that decorated the underside, the ones Asahi picked at in some strange neurotic habit he had acquired.

He felt Daichi lean over his shoulder, feeling the slight rumble that coursed through him and the obvious signs of a flustered Asahi come to light. Asahi’s eyes, that had closed and clearly expressed pleasure from the welcomed touches, shot open. Koushi could practically feel the quirked eyebrow, that all knowing look that was akin to his own.

Asahi, thoroughly disturbed, didn’t even signal and moved away, a little deflated but clearly not unhappy by the change. Daichi shook his head, poked at Koushi’s cheek and signed that he was going back to bed and that if Koushi ever wanted to give sleeping a second thought that the bed was right there.

Koushi only nodded and watched his childhood friend give his shoulder a slight, comforting shake before moving away and leaving Koushi by himself with the cloying thoughts that had a habit of rushing back toward him when he was alone–surrounded by nothing other than the clawing shadows.

He moved to lay himself along the length of the couch, lips pursing as he tried to shake off that feeling, the one of utter weightlessness–uselessness. The same feeling that came to him every night before he submitted himself to tired unconsciousness. A long day and another soul saved, but he couldn’t focus on that.

Koushi only thought of the souls he couldn’t save, the babies he heard crying. They were headed to a place far beyond his hands could reach. His fingers and body, although they tried, battered and bruised as they were. This human body could only do so much before those looming shadows came back over his head and reminded him all too much of that uselessness.

The dreams always started out the same.

A body too big for him, a face he couldn’t recognize or see in the faded shadows. The dreams never let Koushi see who he was playing, or representing, but they were as lucid as dreams could get. He could feel everything, despite this form being borrowed. It was the only time in his life where his brain mimicked sound, the touches were all there though. The bright shining lights that blinded his foreign eyes, the sensation of claws scratching against steel that decorated the table he was strapped too.

A large form, with wings pressed so tightly against solid ground that he was surprised he could feel the sensation of absolute discomfort. There were other feelings too, misery, fear. Koushi could feel blood that wasn’t his pumping in and out of a scared heart. He himself was not scared, but it was like watching a movie. He had no choice but to be, because whoever this was was horrified.

A morbid reality peaking into the brain before ebbing away into a vast array of absolutely nothing.

A soft murmur, one he felt through his body, it told him of this place. The knowledge of another. The laboratories of a place most denied existing, but he knew was all too real. A place where splices were taken care of, so to speak. They were bred, raised, and turned into what they would be useful as. Whatever that use may be, it didn’t matter to the owners of this decrepit place. Koushi knew that reality all too well.

The thoughts stilled as blurry figures made their way into the vicinity, making short work of the creature in front of them. A few drugs to erase mobility but not hinder the ability to move entirely.

Koushi watched as words etched themselves out into the area in front of him.

A beautiful bird, they said.

They had repeated those words and burned them into the skin of this splice. A gorgeous bird, a species albeit not rare, but not common all together. A predatory species that was believed to be all but wiped out to save humanity’s hide. They were monsters, and now they were their’s.

**_Oh, what a beautiful bird._ **

He wasn’t good for the special operations team, as sad as that made the men that crowded around, hands to clipboards. He wasn’t good at following orders.

He wasn’t good for a single team in their hidden army, a reality Koushi figured but had no adequate proof these existed. This was only a dream after all, this bird didn’t listen well.

He wasn’t good as a sex slave, and at that, the splice moved slightly, claws digging into reddening palms as they tried to settle their breathing. Koushi felt himself on the edge, looking over a cliff with the fear of teetering off. The emotions that flooded him, reminding him of a situation that he was all too familiar with.

Those unfamiliar hands slipping over a body that reacted but refused, a mind that screamed but a mouth that failed to heed. Instead there was only response, the sensation of being pulled apart from the waist down, your throat hurting as nothing but sheer agony coursed through your veins. Claws that had become your weapons, bound. Drugs were always used for these instances, Koushi noted, trying to swallow his raging heart for the sake of keeping the lucid dream going.

Those memories, they pulled away only to show the next instance. The mistake they had made. His throat was sore, his body in pain but that didn’t quell the brewing storm of an animal wronged. This animal, who seemed so fearful and docile and had done nothing to deserve any of the strangulation, asphyxiation, the torment of having someone do the unthinkable. A power Koushi had only wished he had surged forward and decimated the lingering effects of the drugs administered.

Koushi jolted violently, watching as claws he knew weren’t his reached for the man that had his genitals buried deep in a throat that didn’t ask for any of it. Brown eyes widened as those strong appendages dug into the skull, every moment flashing by so slowly that he thought it was purposely being slowed down. Black talons struck down, the snapping of bone ringing so hard that Koushi felt it down his spine.

He had no need to hear it, the sensation was enough.

The strong wave, brain and fluid squishing under powerful hands and being splayed open. Tissue splashing tenderly against a face he didn’t recognize, but had grown to love all the same. Koushi adored them all, even if they committed acts like this. He couldn’t judge them for their bitterness, their insatiable rage.

They were mistreated after all, held down. Numbers cut down and re-purposed for the sole idea of control.

Koushi couldn’t bring himself to feel disgust over the matter that spilled over those hands, the sensation akin to him with the way he worked with ground beef. Perhaps just a bit slimier, especially since it was more tissue than meat, but nothing he couldn’t handle. The disgust fluttered away, swirling down the pipes in his brain until it was replaced by nothing more than a quiet serenity. His body felt at ease, despite how high strung it was.

That’s how those dreams always were.

Even as he stirred awake, eyes watching as the sunlight broke through the curtain, fogged vision greeted he lifted himself off of the couch. Koushi’s face turned sour, noting a small trail of saliva that had dripped out of his mouth and pooled onto the side of his face. A byproduct of sleeping, he knew, probably the most unsavory product of sleeping he’d ever lay eyes on, but that alone didn’t quell the feeling of disgust turning circles in his gut.

Those dreams remained the same, and he was nothing but a mere visitant.

The sensations crawled up every nerve and set them on fire, the realization of the images he had just seen. Koushi only wondered momentarily why he of all people had to be plagued with the nightmares. The only conclusion he had ever been able to come to was his deep desire to be able to help the splices. The desire to get closer to them, and understand as much as a human could understand. These rights of passage were not his own experiences, and he couldn’t even be sure they were real experiences at all, just the winded dreams of a man whose soul yearned and could not be set free.

He removed himself from the couch and briefly went about making sure both Asahi and Daichi were asleep, both men safe and sound and Daichi’s mouth making contortions he recognized as snoring. It gave him peace of mind, at least.

Koushi quickly retreated back toward the living room, making a b line for the kitchen to occupy his  teetering mind and his probing thoughts. He could have sworn sometimes that other things were done to him while he was asleep, matters of the fourth kind. Splices existed in a world with humans, who could so readily dispute the existence of extraterrestrials?

He quickly shook his head, busying himself with preparing the morning’s breakfast, an omelet would do nicely, with some cheese–perhaps something much more hearty like potatoes to add to the mix?

Koushi hadn’t been preparing food for long when he felt someone stand behind him, the looming figure wasn’t large, wasn’t all that tall. So he didn’t feel the need to turn around and give them the time of day, he only turned his nose up into the air and closed his eyes. Didn’t even feel the need to register those pokes at his cheek, not at all. They were as annoying as the man that stood behind him.

Slowly, Daichi swiveled to face him, looking at him a little expectantly, not disappointed, but clearly not pleased by what Koushi only assumed to be the fact he hadn’t slept properly. He could feel those bags drawn under his eyes, but he still managed to cheerily respond with his free hand.

 **Good morning, my dear prince. Would you be a dear and get me some more butter, I seem to have forgotten it,** Koushi attempted with a hand, though he figured it came out more like, **‘hi, get me a thing out of the fridge.’**

  
Daichi only rolled his eyes at the gesture, moving away from Koushi and giving him breathing room he appreciated. Despite appearances, his jaw felt used, and he could still feel those cold hands as they pulled it apart forcefully. Another reason he didn’t necessarily like having lucid dreams about these things, he woke up often with an ailment that persisted–today it just so happened to be the end result of being fucked in the mouth.

His lips twisted into something foul, Koushi was never too fond of blunt words–but there was never going to be another way to describe how raw and sore his throat felt. How dry his mouth was.

He felt Daichi return, throwing a stick of butter haphazardly onto the counter and offering up a bemused expression in place of his distaste. Koushi only snapped his teeth at him, reaching his free hand over and shoving him so hard he almost toppled into one of the nearby chairs in the tiny kitchen. Daichi shot him a look, vaguely gesturing to the large sleeping form in the far corner of the kitchen.

Koushi shrugged playfully, wiggling the knife he’d been using toward Daichi, who quickly sauntered off into the living room. His eyes kept trained on that form, eyeing the friend he held on a pedestal so high that one day it was going to bite him back in the ass and he knew it. The contempt flooded his chest, creating another disturbing sensation that served to degrade the endings of his nerves, temper that fire for the sake of calculation.

He finished the meal as quickly as he could before making his way out into the living room, calm eyes landing on Daichi. Koushi clapped his hands together to grab his attention, a smile coming over his lips. He chose to ignore the startled look that overtook Daichi before he began signing.

**The rally is today, get some breakfast and let's get going before it gets too full.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know?
> 
> Wounds heal but scars never fade.
> 
>  
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr @ shafusu

**Author's Note:**

> I'm gonna provide little random facts at the end, that'll be my signature:
> 
> Did you know? 
> 
> Coding is difficult but useful.


End file.
